sushi-anyonei have no patience. i thought having a kid would be the impetus i needed to learn, or develop (?) patience. i was wrong, because now i have the negative version of whatever percentage of patience i had before i had one, and never is this more apparent then when i’m trying to get her to eat. why… won’t… my… kid… eat?! i experience a mini panic attack every time i put food in front of her and she turns her head away.

i’m afraid of rearing one of those kids that doesn’t eat anything unless it’s white or in “tender”, cheese covered form. you know those kids, they’re picky. pizza, chicken fingers, mashed potatoes, hot dogs. i don’t remember eating like that. i remember having to sit at the dining room table with a plate of spinach rice or lima beans  (gag, amiright?) in front of me and not being able to leave until it was all gone. obviously, i don’t remember the process of learning to eat, and i doubt my folks do either. what i’m trying to get at is i ate food. the food that was put in front of me. and i didn’t fuss about it because i didn’t know i could.

dylan does not eat. okay, sometimes she eats. scrambled eggs. cheese. pasta. chicken. apple sauce. zuchinni. those wafer rice cookies that make her smell like strawberries, etc. you’d think that was impressive, until you sat down with us during a breakfast, lunch, or dinner session to see how much she actually gets in her mouth. of course, if she likes it, she shovels it in. but that doesn’t happen too often. i’m in a constant state of anxiety driven frustration, playing that one louis c.k. bit over and over in my head.

*spoiler alert* if you don’t like swears, do not watch this video. 

yes, i feel exactly that way.

i’m so jealous of the mom’s in my groups who have kids packing away their meals. three times a day, plus snacks? that’s a thing? “he ate all of his portion, and then half of mine! tee hee lol”. i know all kids are different but seriously, go f*ck yourself because my kid would rather play with it than eat it and it’s causing me some serious stress.

she’s growing just fine, but i attribute that to the breastfeeding, not how much she’s eating in a sitting. i really don’t mind breastfeeding, but i want to start weaning her soon – for so many reasons, like needing to not have her to have a little more autonomy, and not needing to pull at me all day long.

what’s a girl to do? i really don’t know, but maybe i’ll start with blocking out the “experts” who tell us she should be getting most of her nutrients from solid foods. and trying to hold onto that old adage, “don’t sweat the small stuff,” because if her not eating dinner is the worst thing that happens in our day, i should be pretty damn thankful.

how do you get kids to eat? talk to me! tips, tricks, or anecdotes, go ahead and leave a note in the comments, i’d love to hear from you!